Just Some Things

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, but I feel so at peace and so thankful for being at the place in my life that I'm at right now. Coming here to Summer Project from the start has been a roller coaster! I think I first signed up to do it because others from Radford have been on one and I needed to follow in their footsteps. But as the process went on, it's evident(now) that God was at work through the whole process. From the minute I talked to Jesse and Drew about going on a project, to the application, to the support raising, it's been so amazing. Even though I was terrified, and Jeff Martin and the staff had concerns for me coming to Hampton Beach, it's a place I've been called to come. It's also evident that through the support that I was supposed to come here, and possibly bless others through the extra. Right before project, I just fell into worldly desires, temptations and just Satan's attacks. I was at the lowest point to where I wanted to die and just give up on God, and call and say I wasn't coming to project anymore. Yet, there was a fire burning inside of me to come and see what I had in store from God this summer. I came here with the expectations of becoming more bold and to step up into a leadeship position. Getting on the plane (which has been one of the scariest things I've ever done) the morning on June 2nd in Greensboro with Kayleigh, I was just in a daze. I couldn't believe what I was about to set out to do. I wanted to turn back, but I wanted to run toward Him with arms wide open and just jump. Landing in Manchester, New Hampshire, later that day it hit me, exactly what I was doing, and I wanted to cry. How was I supposed to do this for God, when I don't know who I am or even that much about God????? Arriving at the White Gull was just so overwhelming! People grabbing my luggage, and hugging me and welcoming me. It all happened so fast, I was almost motion sick by the end of it. I just sat in the corner waiting for my Radford buddies to get here. I didn't really want to meet anyone because why should I get to know people for 10 weeks and then possibly never see them again? But what I didn't realize, and I'm still realizing is that God has called me here, as well as them, to be a family and to work together for Him. Every person that was called here, definately was brought here for a reason. I came here WANTING all of these things for MYSELF....what I didn't realize is that God had other plans. I came here for more personal growth inside, and to work through some life threatening things. I have made some really great friends, and every person here is leaving a lasting impression on me! I KNOW I'm not the easiest person here on project to get a long with, but I'm learning and I fall down everyday. I had a rough first 3 or 4 weeks trying to stay distant, but some RU friends and some new friends have helped me out and I'm building such strong relationsships. Working at Dunkin Donuts with Internationals has not been easy, but I LOVE IT, I don't like the work, but I LOVE the people! Also, teaching the youth every Sunday and being sick, and just the busy schedule, is really not easy for me, but I wouldn't change one second of anything!You know all of the suffering I've felt llike I've been through this summer, or the bad times we've all went through together, it's all worth it and nothing compared to the suffering that Jesus Christ went through. Also, seeing a man come to Christ that is a Vietnam Veteran, and being there to encourage him, is so worth it. God works through us even in our lowest times, and that is just a true testiment of it. I'm so excited to see what God has in store the next 20 something days and I'm running toward Him with arms wide open and I'm ready to jump! I still can't believe I'm here doing this for Him and changing lives, and getting changed! God and the people here on Hampton Beach Summer Project have saved my life from death.