Fall Retreat 2008

One year ago at this time, at this moment
I was falling on my face
I was running from me
All you wanted was for me to listen
All you needed to do was love me
But why was I so afraid, so afraid to let go?
I was so afraid to let go of my own life, my own desires
All you want me to do is listen?
But I'm afraid of what you might say...
All you want to do is love me?
Is that the same love as my dad?
"No my son, this love will never hurt you, or abandon you."
I've heard that one before, what makes this different?
"This love will be around when you mess up, it will be everlasting. Son, I love you now, even though you don't know it!"

What? Is that possible?
"Feel that warmth from the sun?"
Yea, it is nice in this cold place
"That is me. That warmth is me hugging you. Whatever you have done in the past or will do in the future doesn't matter! All that matters is I love you. I want the best for you, most importantly, I will never leave you!"

How can you do this? How can you love someone like me?
"Because your my son and you mean so much to me! I have such great plans for you, and wonderful people to come into your life!"

God...what should I do? I've done so many wrong things, I've hurt so many people, and I'm scared!
"Adam...just listen and trust me. I'm everything you will ever need or want. I'm the breeze that hugs you, I'm the sun that warms you and the bread that feeds you. I loved you before you were formed...I sent my one and only son to die on a cross for you! I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH. I promise to never leave you my child, all you need to do is love me and trust me."

I'm so afraid....but I...I trust you and I...need....I need you!
"I know son...I know"